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| Clank… you speak nerd.
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Imperial Army recruitment speech
- Tachyon: Greetings, inferior beings of Polaris. Does your life lack a sense of purpose? Do you constantly worry about finding steady income? Do you like killing stuff? Then join the Imperial Army and aid me in my humble quest for galactic domination. Here you will travel to new places, meet interesting people, and execute them in the name of… me.
- Qwark: Hold the phone! Did you just say I could meet interesting people?
- Tachyon: Why, yes I did, celebrity hero Captain Qwark!
- Qwark: That sounds terrific! Tell me more!
- Tachyon: It's simple. Somewhere in this galaxy is the filthy Lombax secret responsible for the Cragmite defeat. As an official Tachyon Trooper, your job will be to ravage every planet until it is found. Leave no stone unturned! No rebel spared! Exterminate anyone who stands in your way!
- Hat falls onto his face, covering his eyes momentarily. He quickly removes it and continues.
- Tachyon: All for a tidy salary and competitive benefits package.
- Qwark: Wow..hehe…all that and travel, too?
- Tachyon: Indeed! Take the Nundac Asteroid Ring for example. Our spies have learned that the secret may be hidden here on this remote moon base. If you sign up by tonight, you can join in on the raid.
- Announcer, Qwark: Emperor Tachyon is an equal opportunity oppressor.